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Thea De Leon

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RESSURECTED FOR THE YEAR 2009 [Thursday January 10th, 2030 | 11:05am]


WARNING: This blog is full of nonsensical thoughts,
random sentimental moments,
and the occasional emo outburst or two.
It's not anything special, but it is me.

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29. [Thursday September 17th, 2009 | 5:55pm]

Something I shot a long time ago; Maryland USA

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19. Interesting. [Thursday August 20th, 2009 | 3:40pm]
I was sitting near a professor and an ESL(English as a Second Language) Student during my break time today. Apparently, the student had missed one of his classes. So, the student approached the professor because he wanted to make up for it- They had some sort of oral test in the lobby of my school. I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. I know it's mean for me to say, but it truly was difficult keeping my laughter in. The discussion went a little bit like this...

Professor: Give me a logical reason why a country should not start a nuclear war.
Student: uhh..
Professor: [rephrases]If there is a war, who suffers?
Student: There is pain.
Professor: Yes... everyone suffers right? So in the end, who gets killed?
Student: Japan.
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17. Gift from God [Tuesday August 18th, 2009 | 6:31pm]
I think God knew I needed an extra pack of yosi today... so he left half of one pack on the bench for me just to steal! Aww! Hey... My "gain" is someone elese's gain too! I'm saving their life... in my very own asshole way!

I am really not feeling life right now. I can't handle all the stress. It's funny because if I had it my way, I figure life would be a bit easier. Well, maybe not easier... but a lot happier.

Third entry on my livejournal today. It's abused.
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15. Bleak. [Tuesday August 18th, 2009 | 3:56pm]

Disappointment again and again from all sides. Sometimes, I can hardly handle the pressure. I sure am lucky I have people in my life that refuse to give up on me. However, I can't help but ask... If the bad eventually outweighs the good, than is there any reason left for them to stick around?

12. Beneath the Starless Sky [Wednesday July 22nd, 2009 | 3:54pm]

Beneath the starless sky I chance upon
A distant beauty hidden by the night
the shining feathers and grace of the swan
share colors of the night not painted white.
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11. confused. [Friday July 17th, 2009 | 7:03am]

porque estoy de tan mal humor?
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10. Unfortunate [Monday June 29th, 2009 | 10:47pm]
I don't know why, but I'm a lot more critical of people nowadays. I've lost a lot of respect for some of my friends and schoolmates. Sometimes I just get bored with their company. Other times I'm super blunt and have no problem voicing out how stupid they are. I don't think this is very healthy. I hope this is just PMS.
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9. Hopelessness is the Door to Depression [Saturday June 20th, 2009 | 11:18am]

Sometimes I really wish I could to grow wings and fly away to the other side of the world.
Then I realize, it's stupid, cowardly and selfish of me to say such things.
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8. On Facebook and Photography [Tuesday June 9th, 2009 | 11:35pm]
I've decided to upload most of my photo sets to my Facebook Page. All the other photo hosting providers are too confusing; At least I'm familiar with the facebook interface. Anyway, I have a lot of really good ideas up my sleeve, and I'm desperate to start shooting soon. I'm pretty much deprived of creativity around here... so I have a favor to ask all of you.

I want you to reply with one picture/film/song/book/anything that inspires and motivates you artistically.
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7. On Masks [Tuesday June 9th, 2009 | 11:05pm]

Life is too short to be carrying so many masks. I've realized that they are way more trouble than they're worth. It's funny, I always thought I had to uphold some type of image. Sometimes I'd put on a mask to be more different than I am. Sometimes, I'd put on a mask to conform. However, when it comes down to it, the masks didn't end up fooling people. I only ended up fooling myself.

The biggest mask I put on was the one that had "I don't need anyone. Don't take care of me."written all over it. Oh, I put that on a great number of times. When I had to take care of drunk friends, when I was actually in fact... drunk. When it came to relationships, to mistakes, and to regrets...

There was one point in my life, when I did not talk to anyone for one whole month. I felt low, dejected, and useless. I had absolutely no drive or heart to do do anything and I emo-spiraled all the way down to the bottom. For one entire month, I wore this mask... But then, something magical happened. My best friends got fed up and saw right through my disguise. They tore it down. What's funny is that when this happened to me, I didn't even put up a fight. I just cried and cried and cried. All my friends helped me. One friend gave me words I will always remember and treasure. One gave me the best hug I've ever felt in my life. My other friend gave me his ears and a piece of earnest advice. My last friend gave me his all. It was the most comfort and support I've ever felt in my life. On that day, I realized the comfort I felt behind wearing those masks was never really real. On that day, I had to leave them all behind.
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6. On Nicotine and H1N1 [Thursday June 4th, 2009 | 10:59pm]
Nicotine, Anti-inflammatory H1N1 Cure
Vagus Nerve Stimulation Blocks Cytokine Storm of Swine Flu

Nicotine has an anti-inflammatory effect via the vagus nerve, which is useful against many diseases, and perhaps may block the cytokine storm of the H1N1 swine flu.

Nicotine stimulates the cholinergic anti-inflammatory pathway. At the end of this pathway are immune cells that produce anti-inflammatory cytokines that block inflammation. Thus, nicotine, although one of the most addictive chemicals, can have beneficial effects on inflammatory diseases, such as arthritis, asthma, cancer, inflammatory bowel diseases and perhaps, H1N1.
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5. A Letter from the Deprived. [Sunday May 31st, 2009 | 7:58pm]
Dear Mr. D.,
I really love you. I really adore you. At times when I feel down and the stress is more than I can handle, you somehow appear when I call and with you, I instantly feel sane and comforted. In fact, I really don't know how I could have coped through my life without you. Maybe our relationship is dangerous... maybe I just don't know how to say No. Yet, believe me when I say I've tried, but I can't seem to live without you. When I don't have you in my hands, you are all I really think about. However, nowadays, it seems I hardly see you. I feel so deprived. I REALLY WANT YOU RIGHT NOW.Collapse )
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4. About My Brother [Friday May 29th, 2009 | 9:44pm]

I just realized my bro has saved my ass more than a trillion times. I guess it's only now that I realize he's one of the only people I trust completely. I figure that says a lot, because although I'm a very open person there's only a few people I can put my faith in. He's always been there to keep me sane and grounded. He's always there when I need to whine - and believe me when I whine, I whine until your ears bleed. So, here's a very overdue "THANK YOU" to my dear brother Mark. Oh, and if you ever read this Mark, despite your probably present concern of this post being a sarcastic one; please know that this is wholeheartedly sincere. You've helped me out a heck of a lot, and I just want to say "Thanks" and "You're a great brother".

FOR YOUR INFORMATION: My brother's not at home right now. The only good thing with him being away and me being stuck at home is that I can play HIPHOP and RNB all night long. Oh yeahhhhh!
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3. Thea Desperately Needs a Haircut [Friday May 29th, 2009 | 5:07pm]

I went to school today to enroll. Almost everyone I met there (peers and proctors alike) suggested I fix- or rather- change the color of my hair before school starts! It's funny how nowadays I really don't give a crap about grooming. Trust me, six months of having to apply nearly ten pounds of make up changes a person. Now that I'm back home, I seriously just do not want to be beleaguered by the thought of image, presentation and first impressions. However, I guess I must fix certain things about myself to appease the faculty and their strict grooming standards. Sheesh!

So concerning the title of this blog entry - I DESPERATELY NEED A HAIRCUT. It's really getting so hot in the Philippines now! My hair color has to change as well. My hair is pretty much fried, damaged, dry (though very oily in some parts), and almost always messy. I pretty much resemble a disgruntled old hag. I miss my possessive, protective, and eccentric french gay stylist. Laurent, I need you.

Last, but not the least: Any haircut/color ideas to share? Preferably not too short please~
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2. A Heart Drawn On the Sand [Thursday May 28th, 2009 | 9:29pm]

I found a heart drawn on the sand. Curious. I wonder who drew it and whether they were smitten or whether they were lonely. Funny, it's just a symbol drawn on the sand yet it leaves me with so many questions.

1. Revisiting Livejournal [Wednesday May 27th, 2009 | 6:02pm]

I'm resurrecting this livejournal for what seems to be the hundredth time. I have so many stupid posts here that seriously make me want to strangle my past self. I think my maturity level shot up several thousand notches after finishing my internship. Despite the constant urge to delete all my previous posts, I've decided to keep them as reminders. I take quiet comfort in the fact that I'm not nearly as irritating as before. Thank You God.

If anyone wants proof, please read the following excerpts.

[07 Aug 2005|01:26pm]
"I runaway thinking somebody will be there to find me."

[30 Jul 2006|10:21pm]
"In a perfect world, I'd be able to do whatever the fuck I wanted."

"Doing Nothing is Great."


Quite intelligent blog entries don't you think?

You know, I still have a lot more to learn in life. I'm not as mature and independent as I want to be, but I'd like to think that I've improved a hell of a lot. I'm just glad that I've let go of some personal issues as well as met some awesome people that have really helped me progress as a person.
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0. Goodbyes [Monday May 25th, 2009 | 2:19pm]

In my interview for Traders Hotel KL I mentioned that I'm greatly interested in the Hospitality industry because I love meeting new people. However, I never really thought about the day I'd have to leave them.
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